Heading to the World Wide Web to check off your gift list is the way of the future. Shopping online for oneself has squirreled its way into everyday habits, and shopping for others is sprinting down the same path.
Sending gifts to friends and family, scheduling the company-wide holiday gifts, or rounding up hundreds of freebies and favors for conferences or weddings are all gifting needs that more people are going online to meet.
No matter the occasion, the gift itself is obviously the star. But it’s important to not shirk the second-most important part of gifting — the gift message.
Nothing can make or break the greatness of a gift faster than the note you wrote to go with it. Don’t sweat it, though. When it comes to the tenets of a memorable gift message, we know a thing or two. Read on to see how to nail your gift message every time for the perfect present.
Why the Gift Message Matters: The Psychology of Gifting
Giving and receiving gifts is never a confined, cut-and-dry moment in time. Everyone involved — gifters and their giftees — experiences emotions that build on each other and linger for the long haul. Whether corporate, consumer, or event gifting, your emotional epicenter is activated, and the gift message plays a big part.
Even before a gift is handed off, your subconscious is kicking on. The person giving the gift experiences feel-good emotions far before the big moment, and there’s real science behind that. “Gift-giving, particularly when the giftee is someone with whom we have a close relationship, activates key reward pathways in our brain,” says Emiliana Simon-Thomas, PhD, science director at the Greater Good Science Center.
Those pathways, when uniquely activated by giving, release calming serotonin and oxytocin, aka the hormone that helps us build trust, safety, and social bonds throughout our lives. Oxytocin lingers longer than a dopamine rush, and it’s present through every phase of gifting. Planning what to get, shopping for it, wrapping it up, and jotting down sentiments in a card for someone else all activate these sneaky li’l reward pathways.
However, several factors can bring the vibes down.
For some, the financial stress of gifting could sap away the highs of oxytocin and replace them with the lows of anxiety. For others, fear of sending the wrong message with their gift dampens the moment.
The former fear can be assuaged by setting budgets when exchanging gifts with others, or when it comes to corporate gifting, ensure the budget won’t bust the bottom line. The latter, however, can be resolved with a few thoughtful words in your gift message.
How to Write a Gift Message That Sticks
More often than not, giving a gift results in this slurry of feel-good hormones kicking in, creating a phenomenon known as the “warm glow” or the “helper’s high.”
But what about those rare times when gifting doesn’t go as intended?
As humans, we give gifts for endless reasons. We give to show appreciation, gratitude, sympathy, aid, or just because we’re thinking of someone else, but despite our best intentions for the moment, gifts might not always be well-received. Sometimes, gift recipients feel like:
- The gift is too generic. In these cases, the recipient may feel like the gift wasn’t intentional, or perhaps the choice was an afterthought. This reaction is more common when gifting is happening at scale, like the annual holiday gift from your boss. For example, imagine how vegetarians feel when the company gift is a BBQ cookout lunch and there are no meatless choices. The gift intended to show appreciation and togetherness suddenly turns exclusive and divisive because it was one-size-fits-all instead of customized in any way.
- The gift is meant to resolve a perceived flaw. Giving something incredibly functional and thoughtful could still backfire if it’s tangential to a sensitive topic for the recipient. Tread carefully when giving things like makeup, workout equipment, or gift cards to a barbershop, as items like these could be received as a silent way to say, “you look rough!”
- The gift is low-value, so they must be low-value. This reaction is especially prevalent in the world of business gifting. A gift that’s seen as low-quality or low-value may have the recipient believing you don’t think their efforts or partnership are worth very much, which could quickly sour any working relationships or employee morale.
When gifting results in a bad outcome, that may have a stronger psychological impact than any comparable good outcome. In lieu of sweet, sweet oxytocin flooding your neural pathways, you could trigger a response in the brain akin to “the psychological dimension of pain — the kind of activation that signals distress and worry.”
Luckily, nearly every gifting pitfall mentioned can be resolved with the inclusion of a thoughtful gift message.
Words shmords, right? Do people even read the gift message? The gift message, in many cases, is “more important than the gift, which merely serves as a token of the message,” so it’s important to spend some time on this part of the present.
Must-haves for a Memorable Gift Message
The exact words and length of your gift note are undoubtedly going to shift from occasion to occasion. A sympathy card for your dear friend, for instance, should probably have more heartfelt sentiments in it than the note you jot down and tape to your White Elephant Christmas gift.
Regardless of the gifting event, a quality message should have these highlights:
- Gift recipient’s name
Seems like a no-brainer, but many times, the name gets nixed — especially for corporate gifts where the same products are being given to tons of people. Unless you don’t know the recipient’s name (like in the case of the White Elephant gift), there’s no reason not to include it. It’s a small bit of personalization that goes a long way in stoking feelings of appreciation and care.
- Reason for the gift
This inclusion is critical if the recipient wasn’t expecting the gift and there’s no other obvious external reason for it, e.g., Christmas or a birthday. A simple “I saw this and thought of you!” goes a long way in alleviating any sudden pressure the recipient might feel to reciprocate the gift.
This is also where you could smooth out any ill interpretations of the gift. If you gift someone a pair of rollerblades, include a sentiment like, “I know you love that trail through the park by your house and could have fun with these!” to get ahead of any potential assumptions like you think the recipient needs to exercise more or get a new hobby.
- Any sentimental anecdotes
Gifting inherently connects people (remember all that brain stuff we just talked about?). The gift message is the place to double down on the mushy-gushy memories. Recalling simple moments related to the gift, or even conjuring up some aspirational hopes and dreams for the recipient, will help root the moment deeper into the recipient’s past or future.
- No clichés and hyperbole
We know, we know. It’s tempting to simply scribble down “Happy birthday! You’re the best ever!” and call it a day. But even with good intention, that kind of message feels rushed and insincere (and like it’s been on roughly 1 billion birthday cards before). We recommend ditching the same old script and opting for a couple sentiments unique to the recipient. - Your authentic voice
The last thing you want your recipient to wonder is “Who the heck wrote this?” When writing your gift messages, relax and realize that you don’t have to try too hard. You don’t have to sound buttoned up and academic or lean into big words to impress people. Just sound like yourself. Imagine you’re having a conversation with this person face-to-face. Got it? Great — now write that down.
- Your name
This point may seem comical, but you’d be surprised how many people forget to sign their gift note. When this happens, even the best gift and most thoughtful message can’t compete with the anxiety the recipient feels when not knowing who to thank.
This seems like a lot of tips for a simple gift note, but many of these points can be rolled into just a couple of sentences. The goal is to ensure the recipient feels good about the gift and the impetus behind it so the moment is purely awesome.
How to Use AI to Write Thoughtful Gift Messages at Scale
If at all possible, the squad at Zest recommends writing from your heart. But we also realize there are times when a super personalized, love-stuffed, heartfelt message just can’t be done. In the case of massive corporate gift orders where the recipient list is in the thousands, or event gifts when the recipients are unknown, you may have to lean into technology to get the job done.
To create great gift messages at scale, tap tools like Claude, a free AI tool that can generate a replicable gift note for you. You could also look to design tools like Canva to help you design your card as well as craft gift messages at scale.
To get started, fine-tune prompts like this one and paste it into the AI tool de jour:
"Please write a brief but heartfelt message to accompany a gift for my employee. Their name is [EMPLOYEE NAME]. They've been particularly valuable to our team because [SPECIFIC CONTRIBUTION OR QUALITY]. The gift is [TYPE OF GIFT] for [OCCASION]. I want the tone to be sincere and appreciative without being overly formal. Please keep it under 4 sentences but make sure it expresses genuine gratitude."
As an example of what's possible with the prompt above, I went ahead and plugged it into Claude to see what it would spit out. In a pinch, the result isn't too shabby.
Good Things Come to Those Who Write Gift Notes
A thoughtful, even lightly personalized gift note is always better than no note at all. Your gift needs this wordy companion to make it truly sing.
Aside from feeling good and stamping the moment into your recipient’s memory, the benefits of a gift message are wide-ranging and nuanced (and could very well help you meet some other goals through gifting).
- If you’re hoping to foster trust and connection, 89% of people are more likely to report a strong sense of connection to the gifter after receiving a gift.
- Maybe boosting employee morale is a top priority? Nearly 60% of employees see a gift as a symbol of appreciation and gratitude from their employer, and 78% report increased job satisfaction after ripping open something special (a feeling that lasts for months afterward).
- If employee retention is key, keep in mind that 31% of employees would explore new job opportunities if they didn’t receive a holiday gift.
- If you want to make a lasting impression, a massive 80% of gift recipients place higher importance on sentimentality than cost, making the gift note a valuable part of the package.
Ride the High of Better Gifting
Gifts are rooted in goodness.
Both giving and receiving gifts elicit positive sentiment (and legit feel-good hormones) that are only further emboldened by the perfect accompaniment — the gift note.
Slipping in a few authentic words and sincere feelings is the secret ingredient to taking your gifts from meh to memorable, so it’s best not to save it as a rush job or scrap the gift message altogether.
Next time you’re sending 200 gifts to your team for hitting a mega milestone or you’re hoping to send something extra special to your slew of siblings just because you miss them, don’t let a gift message bog you down. Just follow a few simple must-haves, toss in a personalized touch, sign your name, and ride the highs of great gifting.
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